My life...now in technicolor!

Welcome to my life, such as it is.  I'm not sure where it will lead, where I'll end up, even what I want or expect out of life.  This is what I do know, I know I, Julie, I have me.

Me and my plaid thermos, perhaps a paddle game.  "I am not a bum.  I'm a jerk.  I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman.  Now I only have two things: my friends and... uh... my thermos."  Yep, the Navin R. Johnson story has become just too amazingly parallel to mine, I too have my friends and my thermos.  Ok, so overstating a bit.  I never did invent anything to give me the wealth and power but I did have a life.  A life that indeed did have the love of a beautiful young woman...and an amazing man -- my step-daughter and her dad.  Then, life happened.  

Separation.  What??  Who me??  Rug, meet out from under me.  Now, in the aftermath of all that was my 44th year, my life seems a bit surreal.  Some things good, some things not so.  The true realization of how married I was, I still am.  The true realization of how married my husband wasn't, he still isn't.  I know what happened, the story of us and happy ever ever after to the swirl of separation.  I can track each step now.  Hindsight being such a clear reflection.  So many if-only's, too many.  Can't change the past, though.  Darn time being all linear!

Everything for a reason.  Really, has to be.  If not, what's the point of any bad in the world?  In my mind, all has to mean something, impart something, leave a mark that we needed to have.  If the mark is a scar or the lipsticked print of a kiss, lessons in life all do leave us with something.  I'm sure of that.  Cancer taught me that.  

So...now I start 45.  Who, me???  What, old????  Hmm.  Yep, me.  Nope, not old.  Just me...me and my dogs...all in technicolor!  Ooo, maybe I could switch and live in a musical...but at least I want cool background music.  Grab some popcorn.  Think intermission is a while off -- cause that's what life will do to a person, take all over with no time for intermission.  

Act One.  Scene One.  Curtain up.  Julie's theme song begins... ... ...